Siblings with Disabilities Really Do Affect Siblings Positively "Lindsay's Big Sister"

This is a paper that my youngest daughter, Lindsay, sent me last night from UGA to proof. I had to beg her to let me share it with ya'll. After reading it, I think you will understand my need to share it. It is a beautiful piece and is a testimony to how people mold us into who we are.


     Upon receiving the assignment for this paper, I wondered, “Do I even know enough about myself to fill up five or six pages?” My second thought was “I am definitely not interesting enough to do so.” While I am not sure that I have completely come to terms with my self-concept, I do know a great deal about how I choose to live. I know that I carry myself in a way to uphold certain standards. More often than not, my actions reflect my ideals and morals. I know that I am a great person, but am young in age and have a lot of growing to do. According to Richard West and Lynn H. Turner, authors of Understanding Interpersonal Communication, our self-concept is a set of perceptions we hold of ourselves; these insights are relatively stable, but develop throughout our lives. The two components of self-concept are self-esteem, the way in which we perceive ourselves, and self-awareness, our understanding of who we are (61).

It is incredible how much one can learn about his or her self-concept by simply recalling personal experiences. I feel that I am still learning “who I am,” and that with each and every occurrence, I understand myself a little better than before. For example, I grew up in a wonderful family of five. My older brother and sister are both deaf, leading to handfuls of experiences unique only to the members of my family. One such happening took place when I was only eleven years old. I remember going to the movie theater (or as we called it, “the big movies”), and realizing for the first time that my siblings could not fully understand the film’s plot with no sound. While emotions of sadness, anger, and frustration besieged me, I could only blame the theater and film-makers. However in the midst of my temper tantrum, I noticed my sister, Brittany, in the seat next to me with popcorn in hand; she did not have a care in the world. Ever since that day, I have been an advocate for deaf rights. I wrote letters to my political leaders at the age of twelve, spoke at public middle and high schools at fourteen, and met the Georgia state governor when I was sixteen years old. I am a driven individual, a characteristic that evolved only after many years of observing my big sister. Brittany has overcome obstacles since she was born with profound hearing loss. While hearing students complained that subjects in school were too difficult, my sister was working assiduously and excelling in every area; it was in this way that Brittany’s experiences helped to create my self-concept. Upon monitoring her determination to be more than a handicapped child, I developed a passion of my own. I have longed to help others in need since I was young; I believe that this desire contributes to the many characteristics that make me who I am.

I value my family, and the time I spend with them. I am a strong Christian, and measure my achievements based on God’s will. I am blessed with much more than necessary, and thus feel an obligation to share these blessings with others. I have been told I have a “big heart” and a willingness to trust people almost immediately, sometimes to a fault. My friends might say I have a strong personality or that I was a born-leader. Others might reference my undying love for African children, a trait realized only by a mission trip to Tanzania, Africa last May.

Culture has played a large role in my self-actualization. As a nation, Americans generally value competitiveness, material success, and strength (Turner, 93). I, too, was once guilty of possessing these ideals. My worldview changed drastically after living in a third-world country. I learned a great deal from a culture far less fortunate than mine. The families I encountered in Tanzania lived in mud huts smaller than my bedroom, drank the water I was weary of bathing in, and lost loved ones each day to diseases easily cured in the United States by over-the-counter medications. Despite these horrendous conditions, I never saw a Tanzanian frown.

While memories of my journey fade, I know I will never forget a ten-year-old, physically handicapped girl named Foster, and her thoughts regarding America and the American people. The conversation we had was heart-wrenching, and one of the most enlightening experiences I have ever had. Foster began by reminding me that “[I] am very lucky to live in a rich nation.” When asked if she wanted to travel to the United States, she told me that she had many dreams, but would never have the money to fulfill them. She described the actresses in American movies as beautiful muzungus, or rich, white people. She compared her father’s malnourished, emaciated donkeys to the cars driven in America. She asked if I owned a car like the ones in the movies; when I finally admitted that I did, feelings of embarrassment and shame overwhelmed me. These emotions are a perfect example of the forever altering self-esteem. One moment, I felt I was helping the Tanzanian people in a way that no others had. The next, however, I realized all the commodities I had taken for granted. I realized that the weekend shopping trips I had taken with my mother could have easily funded Foster’s meals for a year.

The encounter with Foster changed my life, and is a perfect example of symbolic interactionism. Interacting with the young girl helped me to better understand myself and the world around me. My self-concept became exceedingly clearer with each day I spent immersed in the East African culture. My dreams of helping others in need were not only confirmed, but also strengthened by the people I met. Almost immediately upon arrival in the United States, I felt a new, stronger sense of patriotism. I seemed to adopt the content demeanor I observed in the Tanzanian people. My values even shifted; supportiveness, quality of life, and compassion for the less fortunate were more important to me than ever before. I placed more emphasis on personal relationships, rather than material wants; these observation and modeling processes are characteristic of the Social Learning Theory. Furthermore, I noticed a change in my self-esteem; I began to perceive myself as a better person for the good I had done in Africa. While I do not completely understand who I am at this point in my life, I have learned that experiences, such as the ones shared here, help to reveal my self-concept.

References

West, R., & Turner, L. H. (2009). Understanding Interpersonal Communication: Making choices in changing times. Boston, Massachusetts: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.